I've never been considered anal retentive. I'm pretty much a "go with the flow" kinda gal. I'm not very organized, and have never really minded a little dust on my furniture. I'm not a slob or anything. I just believe there are more important things to life than using a toothbrush to clean my floors.
That said, I have two contradictions to my normal laissez-faire attitude. I'm a self proclaimed foodie as I've mentioned before, so I can't stand a messy kitchen. My biggest pet peeve being the kitchen sink. I prefer to not have dishes left in the sink, but for all that is holy, rinse your damn dishes! Between stuck on cereal and greasy frying pans, I begin having convulsions. I also demand that once a dish has been properly rinsed or pre-washed, that all dirty dishes are put in ONE side of the sink. This allows for easy washing and or loading of dishes.
The second, yet MOST important contradiction to my relaxed body and spirit is the bathroom. I'm not ashamed to admit it. I have quirks. Some might call me a nazi, whatever.
First of all, I'm going to broach the top two biggest arguments regarding the bathroom. Number one being the lifting and lowering the lid thing. Have you people all gone mad? When I walk into your bathroom for the first time, that last thing I want to see is your nasty ass toilet water staring at me. It's also a great compromise, Guys aren't solely responsible for it all now. If you lower the seat AND the top lid, not only does your bathroom look cleaner, everybody does their part when closing the lid. See? That was simple.
The second biggest argument has been made fun of lately on television. It's the never ending game of placing the roll facing over, or under. Everyone has their favorite, but again, I'm going to tell you why I'm right. The answer is, the roll should be faced over. Simple logistics proves that it's easier to find the next square without spinning the roll out of control and covering the floor with overpriced two-ply.
Theses next few things are not deal breakers, but I think they should be. Be respectful of the next person coming in after you. Give them a courtesy flush, light a candle, light a match, but for God's sake, make sure you flush it!!!
I live with teenagers and I volunteer with a couple dozen kindergarteners. I've learned this: ALL CHILDREN ARE VILE AND REPULSIVE. They will not wash their hands no matter how many times you tell them, you must physically get up and watch them perform their amazing feats of cleanliness.
Oh, and one more thought before you go? You should read this article because I guarantee you're pooping wrong too.
http://www.cracked.com/article_19121_7-basic-things-you-wont-believe-youre-all-doing-wrong.html
Friday, January 31, 2014
...2 YEARS LATER...
T-minus 8 days and counting.
Mom and Dad are coming to visit for a few weeks and it appears that Mom alone will have to be here an extra three weeks. Well, alone with the kids... and Boyfriend. I am certain he has panic attacks every time I tell him stories about things my mom has put me through. I keep having to remind him that I'M her disappointment, not him. He's still off-put by the whole situation. Especially for the fact that those three extra weeks that Mom is here with Boyfriend, I won't be. That part I can explain later.
The good thing is, I'll be around for the first two weeks when both Mom and Dad are here, so it'll ease Boyfriend into things. Gotta break him in quickly. Everything's going to be just fine. I hope. As long as Dad has my back.
I'm predicting one of the two things happening while I am gone:
First, Boyfriend will run away and live out of his car until Mom leaves and he forgives me for allowing a demon into our house, or option 2, Mom will just fall madly in love with him and I'll be knocked down one more peg on Mom's list of favorites. Not that I'm complaining. I love my mom. I tease her a lot. Mostly because she rips my self esteem to shreds and then tosses it up in the air like confetti and spins around. She's really quite the life of the party.
Of course I'd much rather she love him. I mean I'd hate for him to be living out of his work vehicle for just under a month. Plus, it's really hard to sleep in a car when it's as crowded as his is. That and Mrs. McJudgerson would probably tell him he was doing it all wrong.
I know I owe an explanation as to why I'm not going to be here with Mom and Boyfriend. But it's a rather long story, and I'm the bad guy in the end. I'll save for when I'm overtired and not thinking about how much of an idiot I was. You know, like a few hours from now. I really have no shame.
Instead, let's talk about the idiot I am. I have eight days to get my house in tip top shape before THEY get here, and yet here I am, typing love letters to myself. I swear, If they gave out Nobel prizes for procrastination I'd probably keep rescheduling the ceremony.
Mom and Dad are coming to visit for a few weeks and it appears that Mom alone will have to be here an extra three weeks. Well, alone with the kids... and Boyfriend. I am certain he has panic attacks every time I tell him stories about things my mom has put me through. I keep having to remind him that I'M her disappointment, not him. He's still off-put by the whole situation. Especially for the fact that those three extra weeks that Mom is here with Boyfriend, I won't be. That part I can explain later.
The good thing is, I'll be around for the first two weeks when both Mom and Dad are here, so it'll ease Boyfriend into things. Gotta break him in quickly. Everything's going to be just fine. I hope. As long as Dad has my back.
I'm predicting one of the two things happening while I am gone:
First, Boyfriend will run away and live out of his car until Mom leaves and he forgives me for allowing a demon into our house, or option 2, Mom will just fall madly in love with him and I'll be knocked down one more peg on Mom's list of favorites. Not that I'm complaining. I love my mom. I tease her a lot. Mostly because she rips my self esteem to shreds and then tosses it up in the air like confetti and spins around. She's really quite the life of the party.
Of course I'd much rather she love him. I mean I'd hate for him to be living out of his work vehicle for just under a month. Plus, it's really hard to sleep in a car when it's as crowded as his is. That and Mrs. McJudgerson would probably tell him he was doing it all wrong.
I know I owe an explanation as to why I'm not going to be here with Mom and Boyfriend. But it's a rather long story, and I'm the bad guy in the end. I'll save for when I'm overtired and not thinking about how much of an idiot I was. You know, like a few hours from now. I really have no shame.
Instead, let's talk about the idiot I am. I have eight days to get my house in tip top shape before THEY get here, and yet here I am, typing love letters to myself. I swear, If they gave out Nobel prizes for procrastination I'd probably keep rescheduling the ceremony.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)